HAIL TO THE CRAPPER: My brother came up from the city yesterday while I was at work. I knew he was there the second I walked in the door because he'd used my bathroom only a few minutes before and as they say, the song was over but the melody lingered on. After I opened all my windows and Lysoled the hell out of my bathroom to get rid of the melody, which was louder and more noxious than his usual output, he opined that there was nothing in the world better than a good dump; that it made you feel better about yourself and everyone else and that it was good for you as well. At the time I was not inclined to give much credence to his paeans of praise to the act of evacuation; when one's olfactory nerves are being violently assaulted one has other things on one's mind; but he went on and on about it to the point where I had to wonder if he was on to something. Laxatives: key to world peace?