The Passing Parade: Cheap Shots from a Drive By Mind

"...difficile est saturam non scribere. Nam quis iniquae tam patiens urbis, tam ferreus, ut teneat se..." "...it is hard not to write Satire. For who is so tolerant of the unjust City, so steeled, that he can restrain himself... Juvenal, The Satires (1.30-32) akakyakakyevich@gmail.com

Monday, February 16, 2004

PRESIDENTS DAY: Remember, today is Presidents Day, when we honor the accomplishments of Millard Fillmore, Rutherford B. Hayes, and John Tyler, who, by the way, married a much younger woman than himself (but so did Grover Cleveland), and was the only former President of the United States of America to be elected to a seat in the Congress of the Confederate States of America. On the other side of the Potomac, the only US President to be elected to the Senate after his presidential term was Andrew Johnson; the only President to serve in the House of Representatives after his term in the White House was John Quincy Adams. The only Speaker of the House to serve as President was James K. Polk, and the only first generation American to be President was Knox's mentor, Andrew Jackson. The first attempt on the life of a president was made by a psychotic named James Lawrence, who believed that he was the president of the US and the Prime Minister of Great Britain at the same time, and who tried to shoot Jackson; both pistols misfired. The Secret Service did not exist in those days so there was no one to whisk Jackson to safety except his friends, who did not try to whisk Jackson to safety but did try to keep Jackson from beating Lawrence to death with his walking stick. The only bachelor to serve as President was James Buchanan, who was the president before Lincoln and believed that it was illegal for the Southern states to secede, but that it was equally illegal for the Northern states to stop them from seceding. The last veteran of the Revolution to serve as president was James Monroe; the last veteran of the Civil War to serve was William McKinley; the last veteran (in all likelihood) of World War II to serve is George H. W. Bush. The first Roman Catholic to serve was John F. Kennedy, who was also the last President to die in office. To date, eight Presidents have died in office: William Henry Harrison, Zachary Taylor, Abraham Lincoln, James A. Garfield, William McKinley, Warren G. Harding, Franklin D. Roosevelt, and Kennedy. Of these, Harrison, Taylor, Harding, and Roosevelt died of natural causes; Lincoln, Garfield, McKinley, and Kennedy were all assassinated. Kennedy was the only President assassinated by rifle fire; Lincoln, Garfield, and McKinley were killed by assassins using pistols.
The two father son Presidents were John Adams and John Quincy Adams, and George H.W. Bush and George W. Bush. The only grandfather/grandson combination was William Henry Harrison and his grandson, Benjamin Harrison. Theodore and Franklin D. Roosevelt were distant cousins.
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