A PORCINE OF THE TIMES: Not enough has been said these past few years about liquid manure and I'm sure not enough will be said about it in the future, but I am now reliably informed that the Germans, perennial jokesters that they are, have created the world's first online database devoted solely to the buying and selling of liquified dung, said aqueous excrement coming from German, Polish, and Czech pigs before their inevitable conversion to bratwurst. A British company, not wanting to be left behind in the race to create a new whirled ordure, has announced that they too will sell liquid dung via the Internet. Company spokesmen say that they will be targeting the Middle East with their product, which is made of a mixture of cow and sheep dung, as fecal groups in the region have made clear their opposition to pigs and pig products in any shape or form, pigs being one of the very few areas of agreement between all parties in the region.