The Passing Parade: Cheap Shots from a Drive By Mind

"...difficile est saturam non scribere. Nam quis iniquae tam patiens urbis, tam ferreus, ut teneat se..." "...it is hard not to write Satire. For who is so tolerant of the unjust City, so steeled, that he can restrain himself... Juvenal, The Satires (1.30-32) akakyakakyevich@gmail.com

Friday, October 31, 2003

TO INFINITY AND BEYOND: Buzz Lightyear, the star of the motion pictures Toy Story and Toy Story II, was shot dead by Capitol Police today in Washington as he tried to enter the Capitol Building with a laser gun. A spokesman for the Capitol Police said that there was a scuffle between the actor and some uniformed officers near the front entrance to the Capitol, during which Lightyear attempted to use the laser on the officers while shouting the “to infinity and beyond” slogan made famous in the two Toy Story movies. The officers then returned fire, killing the actor. No reason has been given for why Lightyear attempted to enter the Capitol with a weapon, but sources close to Pixar Studios say that Lightyear was under a tremendous amount of pressure lately and had been receiving threatening calls from a stalker. “It must have been some kind of accident," Mr. Potatohead, a close friend and costar said today. “He absolutely was not the kind of guy to try to kill himself.” Funeral arrangements for the actor have not been made public at this time.
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