The Passing Parade: Cheap Shots from a Drive By Mind

"...difficile est saturam non scribere. Nam quis iniquae tam patiens urbis, tam ferreus, ut teneat se..." "...it is hard not to write Satire. For who is so tolerant of the unjust City, so steeled, that he can restrain himself... Juvenal, The Satires (1.30-32) akakyakakyevich@gmail.com

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

FIRE NEWS: The recent news that fire retardant has been found in women’s breast milk has already spurred new advances in firefighting technology. The Chicago Fire Department today announced that it using Federal funds for first responders to purchase the new La Leche League high pressure breast pump, enhancing firefighters’ ability to put out fires in high rise crawl spaces and allowing then to isolate one high rise fire from others. The city of Chicago also announced that it would be hiring at least 3,000 nursing mothers in order to operate the pump at its peak efficiency.

In a related development, the Los Angeles Fire Department, in association with Playboy Enterprises and Hustler Inc., announced a test program for a silicone fire extinguisher designed to put out electrical fires. Victoria’s Secret will manufacture the device. According to LAFD Assistant Chief Bill O’Hara, “…this device and some of those girls at Playboy could stop a skyscraper fire in its tracks and we want to utilize that capability.”
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