The Passing Parade: Cheap Shots from a Drive By Mind

"...difficile est saturam non scribere. Nam quis iniquae tam patiens urbis, tam ferreus, ut teneat se..." "...it is hard not to write Satire. For who is so tolerant of the unjust City, so steeled, that he can restrain himself... Juvenal, The Satires (1.30-32) akakyakakyevich@gmail.com

Tuesday, August 26, 2003

THE LOST ART OF NOSEPULLING: When I was a boy, all those long years ago, nose pulling was already a dying art, cheapened by television and by the quick buck artists who were more interested in sensation than in the artistry of the event. It’s a shame, of course, that it had to come to this, but time and progress march ever onwards and we must follow; mourning for the way things were was and still is an unprofitable way to spend one’s time. But for those of us who can still remember some of the great nose pullers of the past the intense appreciation of their great skill will never really pass away and it is left to us to preserve the memory of these great men and women into the next generation.

What brings us to this solemn commitment to remembrance was the death last week in Chicago of Jim Szczreszczoywski, one of the last Olympic champion nose pullers. Mr. Szczreszczoyswi was 102 years old. Jim, as he preferred to be called (he always acknowledged that non-Slavs might have a problem pronouncing his name; his first wife, Etta, who passed away in 1973, always insisted that their name was Smith), won the gold medal for nose pulling at the 1924 Summer Olympic Games in Paris, defeating the European champion and odds on favorite, Henri Lenezgros of France.

Jim and his partner, Flip Jackson, of Mobile, Alabama, was able to stretch his nose out to a length of six feet, seven and three quarters inches, and have it return to its original position without Jim falling over. Mr. Lenezgros was able to stretch his nose out to six foot six inches before it snapped back to its original position; the force of the snapback knocked Mr. Lenezgros off his feet as well, rendering him unconscious, and he finished the competition with a bronze medal and two black eyes. A true champion, Mr. Lenezgros congratulated Jim on his victory, stole the gold medal, and returned in the 1928 Olympics, the last Games in which nose pulling was an Olympic sport, to reclaim his title. By that time Jim had retired from nose pulling altogether, earning a living as a machine gunner on a beer truck for the Capone mob. Jim remained a true champion right up to his death, a benefactor of charities, youth sports leagues, the Cook County Democratic Committee, and other worthy civic organizations. A great man. RIP
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