FOR WHOM THE GRASS KNOLLS: Congressman Maurice Hinchey, who used to represent our happy little burg in Congress before redistricting confined his local representation to the slough of urban squalor directly across the river from us, opined recently that he believed that the White House was behind the recent CBS forgeries scandal. While relieved that a barking moonbat no longer represents us in the House of Representatives, I wonder if Congressional Democrats launching a smear campaign against the White House is such a bright idea. I have heard on the library grapevine that the Congressional Research Service, the branch of the Library of Congress that answers Congress’ questions about almost everything under the sun, has been looking into Karl Rove’s whereabouts on the night the Titanic sank. This does not seem likely to me since the Titanic went down almost a century ago, but one does wonder where Mr. Rove was on the night before the Tet offensive began; it is not beyond the realm of possibility that Tet was a Republican plot to push President Johnson out of the White House. Remember, you heard it here first, folks.