FROM REUTERS: British pathologists removed the brains from tens of thousands of human corpses over a period of 30 years without the permission of the victims' relatives, the government acknowledged on Monday.

Scotland Yard is currently looking for said brains and is investigating rumors that the brains were last seen in the Labor governments of the 1970's. A spokesman for the Yard said that if the missing brains were in government at that time it would "explain a lot of things we were not sure about previously."

In other political news, the Speaker of the Texas State House of Representatives ordered the police to hunt down and find missing Assemblymen in order for them to vote on a new budget. Those representatives still in Austin have been locked in the House chambers for five to ten years, with the chance of parole after two years. In a related development in New York State, Republican Assemblymen are holding the state budget hostage in a Dunkin Donuts shop across the street from the capital building in Albany demanding that an amendment making Republican Assemblymen relevant be added to the budget. The tense standoff has lasted seven hours, with the Dunkin Donuts shop being surrounded by the Albany Police Department, the New York State Police, and the FBI. The assemblymen have barricaded themselves inside the shop and are threatening to harm the jelly doughnuts if their demands are not met. Police negotiators are on the scene trying to spare the doughnuts and maybe get some free coffee on the side.