TOP SECRET!! READ ALL ABOUT IT!!

A gaggle of Republican Congressmen (what is the proper collective noun for a member of Congress, I wonder? A congress of Congressmen seems redundant, whereas a murder of Congressmen seems more than a little hostile, but that’s just my opinion) forced their way into the super-secret classified room in which the Impeachment Inquisition is holding its demonic rites and demanded that the proceedings be made open to the public, among other important things—they did order pizza, for example, and ordering pizza is always a very important thing, although there is no record of who ordered the slice with the anchovies and pineapple; clearly some distinguished gentlemen  from a state somewhere west of the Mississippi River who doesn't know any better.  The Grand Inquisitor, Mr. Schiff of California, a man who could not inspire terror in a lame housefly even when holding a can of Raid and a sawed-off shotgun, promptly closed down the testimony of some spavined State Department bureaucrat muttering about how the Ukraine girls really knock him out, and demanded that the Republicans leave the West behind.  Tempers flared again today when the Impeachment Inquisition announced that the Republicans had, horror of horrors, actually used their cellphones and other personal electronic devices while in the super-secret classified room eating their pizza. The Democratic Party’s sudden devotion to the procedures for handling classified materials and areas is welcome, albeit slightly suspect; I do not recall this devotion to the letter of the law when Mrs. Clinton was letting a plethora of classified cats out of the bag with her personal email server, but perhaps my memory fails me. In any case, the Democrats’ screeching about the violation of their sanctum sanctorum is a little hard to take seriously. The whines emanating from Capitol Hill about the violation of security protocols frankly remind me of a drug dealer complaining that the cops ignored the Keep Off The Grass sign in his yard on their way into his house.

Why? Why? Why?

Mr. Mueller is going to Washington shortly, there to testify about the report he spent two years and several millions of dollars compiling.  I do not know why he is bothering; it will be hot and humid in Washington—it always is this time of year—and it is not as though Mueller will add anything new and significant to what the report says, but the Democrats want to hear this straight from him and Mueller will indulge them.  The Democrats want this more than Mueller does, I suspect.  Since the release of the Mueller Report, the Democrats have been acting like a little girl who wanted a pony for Christmas and is now livid that she did not get one. The little girl was so certain of her getting that pony that she simply dismissed any idea that it might not happen, despite her parents telling her over and over again that there was no room in the apartment for a pony. And then Christmas came and reality, as is its wont, came crashing in with it. Little girls, of course, can only throw tantrums and then sulk in their rooms for days over the crushing of their equine dreams; the House Democrats can throw a tantrum and then subpoena Mr. Mueller and anyone else the House Democrats deems necessary to appear in front of their committees. Someone must explain to Congressmen Schiff and Nadler why President Trump is still President of the United States.  After all, getting rid of President Trump was why Mr. Mueller and his staff got their jobs in the first place.  So why is he still occupying the White House and doing things that the House Democrats find distasteful in the extreme?  Inquiring minds in the House of Representatives want to know, dammit!