The Passing Parade: Cheap Shots from a Drive By Mind

"...difficile est saturam non scribere. Nam quis iniquae tam patiens urbis, tam ferreus, ut teneat se..." "...it is hard not to write Satire. For who is so tolerant of the unjust City, so steeled, that he can restrain himself... Juvenal, The Satires (1.30-32) akakyakakyevich@gmail.com

Monday, January 27, 2020

No clue where I was going with this...


There is no credible evidence that William Shakespeare could speak Polish. There is also no credible evidence that William Shakespeare ever ate an avocado. The first statement is a fact so commonplace that no philosopher has ever given the proposition a second thought. In the second statement, however, the committed student of philosophy will find the key to understanding the place and destiny of humanity in a universe wholly bereft of evidence that William Shakespeare ever ate an avocado. A suffering humanity demands, and by humanity I mean this planet’s extant population of the species Homo sapiens sapiens and not some other group of hominids like Neanderthals, Cro-Magnons, and life insurance salesmen, that this attempt to write the avocado out of the Shakespearean canon should cease immediately, or at least be put on hold until world peace is achieved or the Yankees get to the World Series, whichever comes first. This prejudice against native North American fruits is contemptible and has no place in any modern society. There is, after all, no evidence that William Shakespeare ever ate a banana either and no one says a thing about that, do they?

I was going to add something important here, but I have forgotten what it might me. Now, I will freely concede that if the important point I was going to make here was as important as I thought it was three minutes ago then I would not have forgotten what it was, but I am growing old and weary in my service to the people of our happy little burg and every so often some great immutable truth slips out the back door of my mind and heads off to Vegas with an eighteen year old blond waitress named Tiffany. What can you do, it happens, right?

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