Squirrel hunting in Washington

Hi Chuck, I'm Brett and this here’s my pal, Neil, and we just come back from the woods out there in Maryland where we was a-shootin' them damn squirrels morning, noon, and night, and we want you to know that we heard your speech the other day and we thought it was a humdinger, you betcha! Why, I don't think I ever heard such a good speech before, no sirree Bob! The thing of it is, though, Chuck, me and Neil was wondering about this here price you was saying we was gonna have to pay. Now, we cracked out our copies of the Constitution and checked up on Article III (the three iii's, well, that's them ancient Romans' way of saying 3, which is understandable, not like V being their way of saying five. Nothing about a V says five to me, but I may just be missing something here) and right there in Article III it says that we get keep our jobs just so long as we behave ourselves and don't get drunk on a Saturday night and go shooting out the lights in front of the Capitol. It'll be a bit of a strain, but I think we can manage that. There ain’t hardly no point to wasting ammunition like that, anyways. So we're not too worried about the price we'll have to pay for getting crossways of you. After all, Chuck, we're both younger than you and we will, in all probability, still have a job here in Washington when you are dead and gone. Remember, Chuckles, we don't gotta run for nothing no more. So, we’ll be seeing you around and, just remember, stay away from them there squirrels!

Is you is or is you ain't my banana?

Okay, let’s see if I have this right: the mandate that absolutely, positively no two ways about it was not a tax is in reality a tax whether it wants to be or not,  and Congress cannot fine me for not doing something but it can tax me for not doing anything. Have I got that right?  This is an interesting proposition, although John Roberts is not as entertaining as economist Alfred Kahn was during the Carter Administration, when he banned the word depression from his vocabulary and decided to call any severe economic downturn that might occur as the result of runaway inflation a banana.  Well, I see no reason why I can’t do this too; if it’s good enough for John Roberts and Alfred Kahn and Humpty-Dumpty as well, it’s good enough for me. So the government can’t rutabaga me for not eating broccoli, but I will have to pay a banana for not eating broccoli.  It makes scents in a feculently noisome sort of way, but only if you don’t think about it too much.