An Easter tale
And lo, it came to pass that in the City of David the days of the mother in law's life were completed, and she went to be with the Lord, who was none too pleased with the arrangement, but that's another story altogether. In discussing what to do with the old hag's carcass, an El Al official told the man of the family that he could bury her in Jerusalem for about $500 or he could fly her back to Iowa for $10,000. Our totally nongrieving son in law said immediately, Let's ship her home to Iowa. The El Al official was a bit surprised, because the son in law did not look like a wealthy man. She must have good insurance, the El Al official said. Nope, our hero said, my mother in law didn't have two nickels to rub together. Then you must be a wealthy man, the El Al official. No, I'm not, our hero said, this trip and now flying her back will take just about all of my savings. Then I don't understand you, sir, the El Al official said. Why are you spending $10,000 to send your mother in law back to Iowa when you can bury her here in Israel for $500? Because, our son in law said, a man rose from the dead here once and I'm not taking any chances with that old bitch. No one comes back from the dead in Iowa, no one at all.