Just thinking

As I sit here at my desk looking out on the great expanse of my fellow Americans in the main room of the egregious mold pit wherein I labor for my daily bread, it occurs to me that some people should not wear shirts with horizontal stripes, such as the guy sitting at the jobs computer pretending to look for work as he scans porn sites for blonds with artificially large breasts. This is a fashion offense of the highest magnitude, especially when the person wearing said shirt is of such a magnitude himself that the offending stripes could serve as degrees of latitude on the map of some microbial Marco Polo looking to find the easiest route to the fabulous riches of the ever-mysterious Orient.