The Passing Parade: Cheap Shots from a Drive By Mind

"...difficile est saturam non scribere. Nam quis iniquae tam patiens urbis, tam ferreus, ut teneat se..." "...it is hard not to write Satire. For who is so tolerant of the unjust City, so steeled, that he can restrain himself... Juvenal, The Satires (1.30-32) akakyakakyevich@gmail.com

Friday, September 23, 2005

BELTS: My niece, who is the source of all things actually worth knowing in this world, as opposed to the sort of boring information about boring grown-up stuff that I spend my days imparting to the denizens of our happy little burg, tells me that the whole low-riding no belt look is finally going the way of all flesh, that only stoners and the incredibly out of it still cultivate this particular look, and that belts, whose fall from grace no doubt saved many a hapless steer's hide, are finally and long last coming back. This comes not a moment too soon, in my opinion. While this particular fashion looks great on those whose anatomy can support it; no one could object to Halle Berry wearing such an outfit, for example; on the vast majority of young women it looks at whatever the level beyond absolutely hideous is, revealing things about those rirls that no one in their right mind is interested in seeing. Sometimes I want to stop these women in the street and ask, what the hell are you thinking wearing that sort of thing in public? You could give a sumo wrestler a run for his money and you think baring your spare tire makes you look sexy? Think about it for a second, would you? If running around with your gut hanging out made anyone look good, don't you think that guys would have picked up on this fact by now? Do you really want to see tens of millions of guys wandering around the streets with their bare beer bellies hanging over the top of the pants and enough ass crack showing to run a train through? No you don't, and neither does anyone else, so hitch up your damn pants, missy!!!
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