The Passing Parade: Cheap Shots from a Drive By Mind

"...difficile est saturam non scribere. Nam quis iniquae tam patiens urbis, tam ferreus, ut teneat se..." "...it is hard not to write Satire. For who is so tolerant of the unjust City, so steeled, that he can restrain himself... Juvenal, The Satires (1.30-32) akakyakakyevich@gmail.com

Thursday, August 18, 2005


JULIUS HENRY MARX, 1892-1977: I am told that we've just passed the anniversary of the death of some goy singer, if you're interested in that sort of thing. But tomorrow is the anniversary of the death of one of the greatest singers in the history of American cinema, and here are the lyrics to one of his greatest songs.


Oh Lydia, oh Lydia, say, have you met Lydia?
Lydia the Tattooed Lady.
She has eyes that folks adore so,
And a torso even more so.
Lydia, oh Lydia, that encyclo-pidia:
Lydia, The Queen of Tattoo.
On her back is The Battle of Waterloo;
Beside it, The Wreck of the Hesperus too.
And proudly above waves the red, white, and blue.
You can learn a lot from Lydia!

La-la-la...la-la-la.La-la-la...la-la-la.

When her robe is unfurled she will show you the world,
If you step up and tell her where.
For a dime you can see Kankakee or Paree;
Or Washington Crossing the Delaware.

La-la-la...la-la-la.La-la-la...la-la-la.

Oh Lydia, oh Lydia, say, have you met Lydia?
Lydia the Tattooed Lady.
When her muscles start relaxin',
Up the hill comes Andrew Jackson.
Lydia, oh Lydia, that encyclo-pidia.
Oh Lydia, the Queen of them all.
For two bits she will do a mazurka in jazz,
With a view of Niagara that nobody has.
And on a clear day you can see Alcatraz.
You can learn a lot from Lydia!

La-la-la...la-la-la.La-la-la...la-la-la.

Come along and see Buffalo Bill with his lasso;
Just a little classic by Mendel Picasso.
Here is Captain Spaulding exploring the Amazon;
Here's Godiva, but with her pajamas on.

La-la-la...la-la-la.La-la-la...la-la-la.

Here is Grover Whalen unveilin' The Trilon;
Over on the west coast we have Treasure Isle-on.
Here's Nijinsky a-doin' the rhumba;
Here's her social security numba.

La-la-la...la-la-la.La-la-la...la-la-la.

Lydia, oh Lydia, that encyclo-pidia.
Oh Lydia, the Champ of them all.
She once swept an admiral clear off his feet;
The ships on her hips made his heart skip a beat.
And now the old boy's in command of the fleet,
For he went and married Lydia!
I said Lydia...(He said Lydia...)They said Lydia...We said Lydia, la, la!

RIP Julius.
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