The Passing Parade: Cheap Shots from a Drive By Mind

"...difficile est saturam non scribere. Nam quis iniquae tam patiens urbis, tam ferreus, ut teneat se..." "...it is hard not to write Satire. For who is so tolerant of the unjust City, so steeled, that he can restrain himself... Juvenal, The Satires (1.30-32) akakyakakyevich@gmail.com

Friday, May 21, 2004

DNA BLUES, OR IT'S A DOG'S LIFE: …to test their genetic breed groupings, the team…took "blind" genetic samples from 414 dogs to see if they dropped into the proper breed groups. Only four of the dogs came up wrong: a beagle was identified as a Perro de Presa Canario, a Chihuahua as a Cairn Terrier, and two German Short-haired Pointers as a Kuvasz and a Standard Poodle. All of these mistaken dogs belong to breeds that were also among the hardest to identify solely by genes in the first part of their study, the team reported.

In a similar study performed on humans at Johns Hopkins University, researchers found that all persons identified as trumpet players were, in fact, IRS agents, seven out of every ten persons previously identified as middleaged African American women from Baltimore were in reality prepubescent Chinese dwarf acrobats from Shanghai, and that the control group of 712 white men between the ages of 17 and 45 used to judge the effectiveness of the study were, upon closer inspection, found to be 439 tuna fish sandwiches on whole wheat bread with a Pepsi and a pickle on the side. The director of the study, Dr. Thomas Herrick, said that given these results the study’s basic methodology would have to be re-examined and, if necessary, brought back to Wal-Mart to be replaced.
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