Short note to a vendor.

 

When June shows up, sunshine is sure to follow.

[from an email from one of our vendors. My response follows, and yes, I know the person that I sent this to.]

Sunshine? Is that June's new boyfriend? I thought his name was Roger or Raymond or something else that starts with an R. Rudolph comes to mind as well, but that may just be because there are now only six shopping months till Christmas. Be that as it may, I hope he's better than the last one she had. I'm sure that sumo is interesting in a weirdly grotesque sort of way; after all, the Japanese love it and one hundred million Japanese can't all be wrong, except about that whole karaoke thing, karaoke being, as far as I am concerned, one of the many very good reasons for why Japan deserved to lose the war; but the idea that someone as short as June would consider a relationship with a man who is taller than she is while lying on his back boggles the imagination in ways that no well-brought up imagination should ever be boggled.  In any case, I trust that all is well with you out there in the middle of the country. Here in the Northeast, we are all melting in the heat and humidity like the Wicked Witch of the West being sprayed with a fire hose during a five-alarm fire.

 

Sincerely,

 

AB