The Passing Parade: Cheap Shots from a Drive By Mind

"...difficile est saturam non scribere. Nam quis iniquae tam patiens urbis, tam ferreus, ut teneat se..." " is hard not to write Satire. For who is so tolerant of the unjust City, so steeled, that he can restrain himself... Juvenal, The Satires (1.30-32)

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

A QUESTION OF JOURNALISTIC INTEGRITY: All other things being more or less equal, I was going to spend some time today thinking up some new overly carbonated bit of whimsy for your dining and dancing pleasure, but the weather, as it is wont to do, has intervened and put the kibosh on all of that. Here in the Vampire State the temperature is somewhere in the nineties, those degrees being in the Fahrenheit range of online courses guaranteed to get you a high-paying job in the ever-expanding world of computers and telecommunications, and the humidity being somewhere in the neighborhood of 100%, so you can forget about hanging the wash out of the line anywhere nearby for the foreseeable future, unless, of course, you think bird poop is a fashion statement. I have never met such a person, of course, but then I don't get around very much and I assume they must exist somewhere on our planet. In short, not only do I not want to expend any energy writing, I don’t want to expend any energy thinking about writing. If I can get by without thinking at all, that would be even better; I do not want to do anything that might generate any more heat; there's too much of the stuff around now. The only reason you are reading this whiny screed at the moment has to do with my previous posting. It seems that some of you, and you know who you are, find the prospect of a delicatessen selling live bait so totally off the wall that you accuse me of a certain lack of veracity, said lack of veracity casting a pall over everything else that I report about the goings on here in our happy little burg. As I do not wish for anyone to doubt the complete verisimilitude of The Passing Parade, the following is exhibit one in our defense.

I trust that this lays to rest any questions about our journalistic integrity. We thank you for your patience and hope you all have a nice day.

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  • At 11:07 AM, Anonymous gardenbuzzy said…

    Obviously y'all don't live in the South, where the availability of live bait at any moment is considered vital to life. Conjoining similiar business ventures in the same building is a time-honored tradition here. Thus, you can find car repair, fried chicken and live bait all in the same establishment. That way, you can gas up your truck and boat, pick up some supper and get your bait before heading out to fish. What's not to love?

  • At 11:17 AM, Blogger Akaky said…

    I have relatives in Louisiana, garden, so I know about Southern commercial multitasking, but it's not something most people from the big city down the river from us see very often, and so they are apt not to believe me when I say that that sort of thing goes on up here in the Northeast as well.

  • At 2:20 PM, Blogger Tatyana said…

    Why, I for one would gladly believe you, even though I live in that rotting apple down teh stream; after all, NY is not a homogenous entity consisting only of Manhattanites looking in disgust and horror out of their 60nth story condo window down at the plebs.
    There is also Brooklyn.
    Where the Russians (they came, they came!) live. And the Russians have their own Delicatessens, where you can buy red and black caviar, saddlesoap shampoo (excellent to combat lice in NY Public Schools), Classified newspapers in Russian, TV guides for Russian programming, prepaid telephone cards to call to Russia, homeopathic herbs selection (with stamp "not grown in Chernobyl area"), you can also get expert recommendations for the Russian-speaking real estate agents, plumbers and car dealers.

    All in a space of 3 sq.ft.

  • At 11:00 AM, Blogger Rachel said…

    Who are these people who don't belive you? Even the wicked cosmopolites of Gotham surely haven't led such sheltered lives as that?

    You can buy live bait at numerous and diverse places just up the river from NYC, as you have proven. You also can buy live bait at delis/restaurants and numerous other establishments along the Jersey shore.

    Around here, we don't have many delis, as such, but you can buy live bait at gas stations and convenience stores.

  • At 9:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Akaky, Garden beat me to it, but I was going to say: that deli sounds like it might be inching toward the ole tradition of the Suth'n Genrull Store! (I just hope they thoroughly wash their hands and put on fresh disposable plastic gloves inbetween dishing out the worms and the sandwiches!!!!)

  • At 7:06 PM, Blogger dick stanley said…

    Pretty picture. But does anyone use Western Union, anymore?

  • At 9:10 AM, Blogger Akaky said…

    Dick, Western Union is the method of choice for sending money back home to Mexico, Haiti, and parts south. It is quick, reliable, and fairly inexpensive; you can't send a telegram anymore, though. I think WU sent the last telegram ever back in February.

  • At 11:11 PM, Blogger dick stanley said…

    (Sound of smacking head with palm)
    Of course. They send money home. I only see the signs all over Austin. Little senior moment there.


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