The Passing Parade: Cheap Shots from a Drive By Mind

"...difficile est saturam non scribere. Nam quis iniquae tam patiens urbis, tam ferreus, ut teneat se..." "...it is hard not to write Satire. For who is so tolerant of the unjust City, so steeled, that he can restrain himself... Juvenal, The Satires (1.30-32) akakyakakyevich@gmail.com

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

SACRAMENTAL WHEAT: While I certainly feel sorry for this child who cannot receive Communion because she is allergic to wheat, the notion that the Catholic Church is going to change one of its sacraments to accomodate a small group of people is more than a little odd to me. If the Host may be anything other than unleavened bread, then why not go all the way with the concept? Replace the cross on the top of churches with golden arches and instead of unleavened bread the church can distribute Big Macs with a side order of fries. Getting the Happy Meal while attaining a state of grace would certainly increase Sunday church attendance and the Church can cut McDonald's in for a piece of the collection plate in order to cover the company's expenses. In fact, why not franchise Christianity in general? The Presbyterians could run Taco Bells, the Methodists could have Wendy's, and the Episcopalians, being the American version of the Church of England, an organization whose temporal head is Her Majesty, the Queen, could operate Burger Kings. I dont know if there is a market for blintzes or borscht, so the Russian Orthodox might have a bit of a problem, but the Greek Orthodox could nab the market on falafels and souvlaki. I do have a problem with the transubstantiation of a large strawberry shake into the Blood of Christ, but I am confident that some clever Jesuit, and is there any other kind, can pull off the necessary theological exegesis to everyone's satisfaction.
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